Time Runs Out
by Gifted Empress
Summary: He's drowning in Veronica Mars. He's dying in her too.At the same time, the only thing he wants is her, but that may not be in the cards.


_I think I'm drowning_

_Asphyxiated_

_I want to break the spell_

_That you've created_

He's so swept up in her that sometimes it hurts. It's head spinning, mind blowing, it gives him the best high he's ever had. It makes being drunk look even more pathetic (he already knew it was—he did have an alcoholic pill popper for a mother).

Every kiss gives him a rush; not even Lilly was _that_ good. Everything about her gives him a buzz. It's been that way since he met her. It was a tiny rush in the beginning, one he could attribute to Lilly's naturally intoxicating presence and her by association. But now it engulfs him. Surrounds him. Even when he is of two minds—antagonizing her, hating her, secretly loving her—he gets drunk off of her. She is his everything, even when he's pretending she is nothing.

He's drowning in Veronica Mars.

_You're something beautiful_

_A contradiction_

_I wanna play the game_

_I want the friction_

He's mesmerized by her. By how polarly different the girl she is now is from the girl she was a year and a half ago, yet how that girl is so strikingly the same. She walks around pretending that innocent sweet girl (the one who saw the good in people) is dead, but he knows she is still alive and kicking, she's just inside a hard candy exterior. Lucky for him, he was always a fan of tootsie pops as kid.

He knows that even when they rub each other the wrong way the sparks still fly. He likes the tingles they cause all over his body. He knows that their relationship has almost become a game—a contest of wills— but it's a game he wants to play because he knows losing is just as good as winning. Or at the very least, he hopes so. He wishes that losing is not going to kill him. He just wants to stay in the game.

They are one giant science problem. Chemistry and physics wrapped up in one steamy package. Unfortunately, he was never any good at either subject.

_You_

_Will be the death of me_

_Yeah, you_

_Will be the death of me_

He managed to survive both Lilly and his mother, but Veronica, Ronnie, the non-L named woman in his life is going to be the one to kill him. To push him over the edge. She brought him back from the edge of despair and misery and he is pretty sure that she has the potential (the inner-bitch) to be the one to hand him the metaphorical (or literal) gun. To give him the nudge in the not so right direction. She brought him a new beginning and she'll bring him his true end. There is something poetic there. Or perhaps it would just be him getting his karmic payback.

He's willing to go though. Willing to let her kill him. If that is where their relationship is headed—and it very well could be, knowing the two of them—then he feels it will be a life a truly lived. A perfect finale to the man-boy that is Logan Echolls.

That's how he knows that she is special to him (not that he didn't know deep down the instant he saw her)—when he waxes poetic about how death would be worth the make out sessions and shared connections they've had, no matter how limited they may be.

_Bury it_

_I won't let you bury it_

_I won't let you smother it_

_I won't let you murder it_

Half the time, he can't understand why she won't let go Lilly. But then he realizes it's the mirror image of the part of him that kept his mom alive (at least in his mind).

He wants her to stop her sabotage of their relationship, be it subconscious or otherwise. He won't let her walk away from what they've started. It is bigger than both of them now, and he is ready and willing to just let go and flow with it—if only she would stop her fighting. She surrenders to it, almost loves him, kisses him like there is no tomorrow, but then runs like wind.

He wants to stand by her always; she just keeps shoving him away.

_But our time is running out_

_But our time is running out_

_You can't push it underground_

_You can't stop it screaming out_

He can't shake this sense of impending doom. Perhaps it is the pessimist in him or the realist that has lived his life, but he has this distinct feeling that they are not meant to be forever. They are not forever people. He wants them to be, but he is not a child and has long since forsaken the notion of happily ever after. He knows that no amount of screaming, fighting, or clutching at straws will keep them together if they are meant to break apart.

He just prays (a rarity for him) that they aren't. He doesn't think he could take it. He buries those prayers back behind the pool house.

_I wanted freedom_

_Bound and restricted_

_I tried to give you up_

_But I'm addicted_

He can't remember when he consciously started wanting her. He can't remember when he made the switch between Lilly and Ronnie. He thinks he never did.

He doesn't remember what freedom from them is. He hasn't had it since he was twelve years old and a lifetime has passed between then and now. He's a slave to them; to Lilly's past and Veronica's everything. He wouldn't trade it for the world.

Especially now that he knows how she tastes.

i Now that you know I'm trapped

Sense of elation

You'd never dream of

Breaking this fixation /i

He knows that she thinks he's still engrossed in Lilly. He knows that she fails to realize that Lilly is now just a frame on the full picture that is Veronica. He won't say that he loves her—saying that almost condemns her to an instant death. Sometimes when he is filled with anger and betrayal for her (like he was that night on the bridge), he loves her like he has loved no one else, just on the off chance that it will cause her some harm. That and it is a small comfort to him in his misery.

He also knows that she is smart enough to realize exactly how far into _this_ he is and that she is just too scared to do anything. She just lets it go on, slowly falling herself (he hopes), and watching him sink deeper into the muck that is Veronica Mars.

He's relieved that she would never break him. He knows that they are both too fragile to take too much of that.

i You

Will squeeze the life out of me /i

He wants to protect her. From his friends, her friends (current and past), the media, Officer Fuckface, his father, himself. From life. He wants her to be safe. But he knows from experience the instant he tries to protect her, he either fails miserably or makes everything worse. Noble intentions that are horribly misplaced. She sees the intentions through the blunders and rewards him anyways.

The instant he hangs up the phone and Fuckface tells him that Veronica was the one who turned him in, he knows that everything he ever suspected has been confirmed. And it hurt likes hell. He wants to die. Right then and there. Curl up and die. Or better yet, break the smirking "sheriff" in half and then die. That would be ideal, because apparently he was long ago deemed unworthy of love.

He once again prays that Fuckface is just shitting with him. Being an asshole. But he knows that that is not the case—deep down he knew all along.

Veronica Mars is his Alpha and Omega.

i Bury it

I won't let you bury it

I won't let you smother it

I won't let you murder it /i

He confronts her. He asks the questions he knows the answers to and then is told to leave by her father. She wasn't even strong enough to tell him to leave and that's what hurts more than anything. At that moment she was ready and willing to fire the loaded gun at their relationship without even trying to explain. She shut herself off by thinking the worst of him; by having that little faith in him. He is not the monster. She is. She is heartless. Cruel. She stood by and stepped on his heart like it was glass and she was a Jewish bride. She took the easy way out; was unwilling to look for the truth. The fact that she almost accepts him as murderers hurts him more than anything else. More than watching her and Duncan go at it—that at least would be pure. This is just deceitful.

He has lost faith in one drug that night so he goes to his mother's drug of preference. Flask in hand his drives to the bridge and stares his mother, Lilly, and loss/betrayal of Veronica in the face.

He knows that he is a truly sorry sight when Weevil deems him too pathetic to abuse.

_But our time is running out_

_But our time is running out_

_You can't push it underground_

_You can't stop it screaming out_

He screams so loud that the cars stop to stare at him. But then again, they could be stopping to gape at the boy on the edge of suicide. On the edge on his stupor, he hears his cell phone ring, but dismisses it as the drunken ringing of bells. He's going to be king of the goddamn world for the next five minutes if it kills him and he'll me the most bitter, lovelorn king the world has ever known.

He muses that it is about damn time that world had a reality check.

_How did it come to this_

He doesn't understand how it came to be this way. How these roles were cast. How he was chosen to be this way. All he knows is that he loves her. He can't say that he will never forgive her, because time does heal all wounds, even these, but he does love her and eventually he will forgive her. Just not today. He needs her and hates her for it. He hates himself for it.

He knows that they both need to swallow their prides and love each other, forgive each other. But today is not that day. He is not that big of a man. He is petty, bitter, heartless, and hurt. A spurned lover, dr

unk and alone, teetering on the edge of the same bridge his mother "killed" herself on. He knows that there is only one thing he can do.

He jumps off the bridge.

_Yeah, you_

_Will suck the life out of me_

He lives. He knew that he would; his death would be directly Veronica related, not a cause and effect sort of situation. The cops who prevent him jumping by grabbing him tell him that they have something very important to tell him. He doesn't care. They tell him that his father has just been arrested for the murder of Lilly Kane.

He feels hot and cold at the same time. He has never wanted to kill his father more than at that moment. He realizes that his father's motivation must've been one that is vaguely similar to why he (almost) jumped off the bridge. His father is a sick fuck.

The cops continue to speak and tell him that his father also tried to kill Veronica Mars by locking her in a refrigerator and lighting it on fire.

His heart stops beating. He feels the life drain out of him. He knows that death is coming quickly and the cops notice that he is not okay. They tell him Veronica lived with minor injuries, but her father is in worse shape.

His heart starts beating. He'll live. She's alive and okay and no matter how mad he was at her and regardless of the fact that it will take him a long time to trust he again, he is just grateful that he has time to learn to trust he again. He's grateful that she's alive.

He knows that if she wasn't, he'd be dead now too.

i Bury it

I won't let you bury it

I won't let you smother it

I won't let you murder it /i

He winds up at her door. He doesn't know, doesn't care, can't fathom what time it is. He knocks with a sense of déjà vu washing over him. She opens the door, a small, sad smile on her face. It is more than he expected. She says that she was hoping it was him. Those words make him alive again. He still can't forget what has conspired between them, but he knows that this day has been infinitely long.

The moment of heavy silence at the door before she invites him says all that needs to be said. The heaviness won't go away soon, but he has always been a good swimmer and a fighter to the end.

Tonight is not a night for fighting. She surrenders.

_But our time is running out_

_But our time is running out_

_You can't push it underground_

_You can't stop it screaming out_

_How did it come to this_

He doesn't care what happens. He just wants to hold her and he's happy doing just that. After the night, the year, and the lifetimes they've both had, it's exactly what is needed. He's going to hold on her to the end of time. And if it kills him, he'll die with a smile on his face and on his twisted (once thought to be shriveled and dead) little heart.

Veronica Mars won't kill him and he won't kill her. They just might kill everyone and everything around them, but it will be worth it. Nothing can stop them and there is no logic, no reason, just this.

Until time runs out.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Veronica Mars belongs to Rob Thomas, UPN and all other affiliates. The lyrics are from the song "Time Is Running Out" by Muse. I don't own them either. **

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